Today is the big day…my 2nd anniversary. Being persistent with a blog wasn't something that I was sure I would be able to continue for a whole month, let alone 2 years. It has been a fun, exciting, reflective ride. I find it incredible that there can be someone looking at one of my pages in New Zealand and someone else on that same page in the UK or even languages written in a non-alphabet script that I am unable to decipher. Writing about life and my experiences may or may not have any relevance to anyone but family or friends, but to those that visit my pages, I hope that it will entertain, inspire, enlighten or spark an idea somewhere and in some way make a difference, no matter how small.
When you write a blog, it can be quite challenging. It is a time commitment that is not always easy to fulfill. Then there's the debate about content. I don't like to be controversial. I am not a presidential candidate and I am not fond of debate. I struggle with the idea that I should remind people to vote…heaven forbid my encouragement gets someone out to vote and they are on the opposing side! It's one thing to put a creative project idea out there for all the world to see and quite another to write about more personal moments. Content can be a struggle.
Mormons are encouraged to keep a personal journal. My Mom has been faithfully kept volumes of journals for decades now, but I don't like to keep a journal with pen and paper because I need to edit, so the computer and I are better suited to my needs. For all intent and purposes, this blog is my journal, but with no lock and key to secure it in a hidden spot, far away from strangers. But I really am okay with that idea because I think that life is a journey and one not meant to be traveled as a solitary pilgrim. Of all the things that you cannot take with you when you die, I believe that the relationships we build with each other, whether life-long, temporary in nature or just a fleeting moment, can be a great benefit to each other along the way. If I can brighten someones day or bring a cheery thought to someone that is sad, then my energies are worth the time I spend doing them.
It is General Conference weekend. Time to rotate that water storage, check your emergency kits or make them. But as well as being temporally prepared, we need to be spiritually prepared for the challenges we will face in life. Last week was the Relief Society's conference. All the talks were wonderful. Here is a moment from President Dieter Uchtdorf address:
You can listen to or read the whole talk here: http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng
Being recently widowed, I have found myself not wanting to be sad, unclear on the direction my life will lead me. I tell myself I have no time to cry, that I need to be strong for everyone, especially my own family, that there is too much to do to waste time on tears. After all, tears give me a headache. I have somehow equated uncertainty with not having enough faith. If nothing else, maybe Heavenly Father could direct the ants away from my house until next season when the time spent battling them will not add to the other frustrations in my life. My head tells me that this is wrong…think of all the people that go to bed hungry each night, people that do not have shelter and little hope that tomorrow will be any different. My ant problems are minuscule in comparison to the real drama in the world – the ants just represent the trials I am and will continue to face. But when I listened to President Uctdorf's words, my heart was touched:
"…whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love."
My Heavenly Father has not forgotten me. I must remind myself to keep all things in the perspective of eternity. I must press on with faith, through the tears, reminding myself that God knows me and understands my life and circumstances. For that, I am very grateful.
Happy Anniversary to me! Here's to an even better next year of blogging!