As I sat at Scott’s desk, shuffling through paperwork and trying to make heads or tails of it, I realized that it had been hours since my breakfast feast of last night’s Karl Strauss’s dinner leftovers – BBQ Chix Macaroni and Cheese (yum!) – and that if I didn’t eat soon, I would be facing an additional element to my already developing headache.  The thought of preparing anything would just have to wait until dinner, so I was trying to think of something small to tide me over.  Then I remembered what was in my fruit drawer in my frig…a peach, a pear and a plum, the remaining pieces from a fruit box gift from a kind friend.  Gathering them into my arm, I proceeded to the sink to gently wash the very ripe fruit, when much to my consternation I am confronted by small, steady stream of tiny black, quick-moving creatures that so easily seem to find the one random crumb or misdirected piece of candy long since forgotten by the giant creatures that they persecute – ants.

And so I came to face to face with this small army of insects.  The trail stretched across my counter, over the stove top, across the other counter and up the wall to parts unknown.  Funny thing is that I could understand their invasion if I had left food out or someone had not wiped down the counters.  I am perplexed as to why they were all converging to one spot.  There was one solitary worker lifting a single, small piece of dry oatmeal, but it seemed to be moving the grain along just fine all by itself, so what the others were there for remains a mystery.

I took a break to eat my peach, my pear and my plum.  They were most delicious.  While eating my fruit, I pondered on the situation at hand.  It seems rather unfair for me to have such plenty when it would not make much of a dent in my food supply to feed all the ants in my yard.  I do not like killing things.  There are many spiders in my house that have survived to spin another “terrific” web because they were not of the poisonous variety.  I would prefer to just leave the ants alone, but if I do, I am convinced that they will take advantage of my generosity and invite thousands more of their colony (that I know reside under the sidewalks and grass outside my front door…probably out back as well) on into the house for the sumptuous meal I have left out for them…inadvertently, of course.

I don’t hate these insects.  I admire their tenacity and strength, their sense of working for the communal good of the colony – we mortals could take lessons from the ants.  Honestly?  They are just exceptionally annoying.  Maybe its because they are small and I never know where they will turn up next.  Maybe its because it is nearing the end of summer and I have had several bad experiences with the invaders already.  I try to be clean, but all it takes is a single crumb for them to bring in their forces.  Maybe I can blame myself for not being a more fastedious housekeeper, but whatever the case, I have a hard time just letting them alone. 

Please do not think ill of me.  I am not in the habit of eliminating small, annoying things just because they put me in a bad mood – I have six children that have either reached, or are very close to reaching, adulthood and they most definitely have had their moments…and survived!  But the ants are everywhere…in the bathrooms, on my desk, in the hallway, the kitchen and the living room.  I would be willing to feed them out in front of the house, all the way to the edge of the front sidewalk if I thought it would suffice – you know, like paying homage to their Queen.  But it is not my plan to make their army stronger. 

I wish I could say that commercial ant traps work well.  Not with my little creatures!  They walk right up to the edge of the trap and then go around…every single time.  Either they have gotten smarter or the traps are old (even though I just bought them) and the poison inside no longer a temptation.  Windex and 409 will work in a pinch, and I don’t mind spraying those on my counter.  I even tried the cornmeal trap, but nothing has yet been successful!  But the tide is about to turn.

Without getting into the details, let me just say that many little ants met their demise today.  There will be more casualties.  I am not proud of it – its just the way it is today.  Please stay outside, little ants.  I wish you no ill will, but once you invade my space, I will most surely declare war.  The victories may be small, the battles many, but I will continue to fight.  So little ants…beware!  Your marching “two by two” days will shortly be coming to an untimely end.