It was a slightly overcast morning as we left for Stake Conference yesterday. The boys headed over early for a change…they were ready and the girls weren’t, so they left to save us seats. We followed, not far behind and were just on time. I had taken time to put on my make-up before leaving the house, but I’m not sure why – mascara is not usually a good idea for me, especially since I was anticipating a few tears today – our first Father’s Day without Scott.
It has been a long time since I wrote one of my old-fashioned “blog” posts. Faithful friends will remember what that means. They often comment on missing my heartfelt messages, stories and thoughts. But I haven’t felt like I had that sort of emotion to give, that somehow just pulling myself along in a day-to-day functioning mode was all I could muster. Blogging about cupcakes, cookies, cards and crafts takes a certain committment of energy and time, but require no real emotional investment. Sharing one’s soul…that’s a whole different story.
All in all, yesterday was a good day. It was announced that both Mike and Tom are going to be ordained as Elders. Scott would be so pleased with their accepting this responsibility. After a wonderful conference, we called Liz to meet up with us at the cemetery to see Scott’s recently placed headstone. It is beautiful and wonderful to finally have it in place. (Thank you, family!) We took a brush and cleared the pine needles already gathering on the top. I went to several of the other nearby graves less recently visited and cleared them so the names could be seen. We were all pretty quiet, but I didn’t want to force conversation. After Liz arrived, she told of a wedding she had attended the day before and of her tears as she watched the Daddy/Daughter dance. She said that friends thought it was sweet that she was so emotional while observing this tradition. I knew what was behind those tears.
I observed an older gentleman sitting at the bottom of our hillside. He was there when we arrived, leaving a flowering plant behind. I watched as he struggled to make his way up the fairly steep hill. He was also visiting someone that he loved, and loved well enough to make the hike. I hope that he understands that even though the body is laid to rest in the ground, the spirit does not linger there, as it has better things to do. Scott was always busy in life and I know that he is probably busier on the other side.
We all miss Scott in different ways and this is just one of those holidays that will be difficult. But knowing that we love each other and that ours is an eternal family makes it easier to carry on.
Later that day, there was a surprise left on our doorstep – a plate of cookies with a message:
“Thinking of your family and hope you have many wonderful memories this day.”
Isn’t our family fortunate? Not only do we have guardian angels watching out for us every day, but earthly “cookie angels” letting us know that we are in their thoughts! Which made me think…why didn’t I think of doing that for someone else? A great lesson shared and one I will definitely make part of my random acts of kindness.
Life is full of challenges along the way. But with each challenge that we faithfully face, our Heavenly Father offers this promise:
“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
“And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.” (Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:32-33)
We love you, Scott…we miss you. Until we meet again, our sweet memories will have to do. Thankfully, we have lots of those!